Monday, 18 December 2017

A Spark In The Night!

It's been a most interesting 24 hours at Mad Mammy Towers. My amazing electricity blasting powers worked again and I managed to plunge half the house into darkness!

Related image
I Be Like Storm!

This also meant the heating wasn't working - which wouldn't have been so bad if the temperature hadn't been minus 4!

So, having got the kiddies to bed (buried under extra duvets and fleecy blankets) I turned the fire on and wrapped myself in a fleecy throw and plonked myself on the couch and promptly fell into a semi-coma.

I was jolted from my slumber by someone banging on the front door at 1 am! I thought it was the local fire crew, here to tell me the house was on fire but it was the technician from the local power company - here to check the power supply - at 1 am! These Canadians don't hang about!

The Power Truck - Outside The House At 1 am!

He left around 2 am - assuring me the supply to the house was fine - that the problem lay inside the house somewhere...

The morning consisted of two children making their way around the house like a King & Queen of old with the fleecy blankets trailing after them like grand velvet cloaks. I finally got them fed and dressed and out the door to find my car encased in ice!

I got over that hurdle and got them to school, came back and found a lovely man waiting for me. He told me he was here "to fix my problems." Ha ha ha! If he only knew! For a moment I wondered if he was the electrician or perhaps an early Christmas present sent from God and all my problems were indeed going to be solved. Turns out he was the electrician.

And he proved to be a very efficient one at that! Half an hour later power had been restored and the lovely gentleman was wishing me a happy Christmas as he made his slippery way back to his car. I waved him off and couldn't help musing to myself how nice it would have been if all my problems were so easily solved! πŸ˜ƒ

Wednesday, 29 November 2017

Wardrobe Wars - Let Battle Commence!

The Mad Mammy was delighted to bag myself some Black Friday deals over the weekend - and so was my daughter!

"Ooooh," she squealed when I was modelling one of my buys, "you need to take that off."
I removed it immediately, thinking there was something wrong with it.

I then watched it disappear into her bedroom and have had to watch her wear it ever since!
Photo of cardigan with fleece hood
One Of My Bargain Buys and The Much
Coveted Cardigan!
Now, I had kinda expected this sort of thing to happen when she's a bit older... If it's going to happen at all - I mean let's face it - I hardly expect a teenager to even notice what her mother is wearing! Especially a geriatric mother like me. However, I certainly wasn't prepared for an eleven year old to snaffle my stuff. 

I have to admit, part of me is a bit chuffed - I feel like trendy mom whose kid wants to wear her clothes 😁 Then a little voice says, "don't be delusional, she's eleven years old and you're still pretty much the centre of her universe. Give it another year and you'll be the most embarrassing thing on the planet." 

So, I decided to just go with this unexpected turn of events for the moment and accept the fact that, for the foreseeable future, I may have to rifle through her wardrobe to find my things. And then yesterday she came home wondering if she could get a pair of Ugg boots. She very quickly got a reality check instead. However, I agreed she could get a pair of boots similar to Uggs but without the exorbitant price tag.

A few hours later she was the very happy and very proud owner of a pair of SoftMoc boots (that look just like the Uggs!) and it turns out my daughter now has the same size foot as meπŸ˜ƒ It was with great delight I told her she needed to take her boots off. She was a bit confused at first but then somewhat perplexed as I proceeded to prance around the kitchen in them declaring how comfy they are!
Photo of brown coloured SoftMoc Boots
The Very Comfy SoftMoc Boots!


This morning I found my cardigan on my bed - the message was clear - I'll leave your clothes alone if you stay away from my boots! Ha ha ha! It looks like the wardrobe wars have begun!

Thursday, 19 October 2017

Nuts!

I don't know about you but I always find something funnier when it arises in a situation where I wasn't expecting to find anything remotely humorous.  Hence, I'm giggling away to myself for the last half an hour...

Let me explain.

The winter is coming here in Canada and by all accounts a Canadian winter is not something to be taken lightly - I'm half expecting hordes of Whitewalkers to come with it!

Photo of Whitewalkers from Game of Thrones T.V. Series
The Super Creepy Whitewalkers From Game Of Thrones
So, I'm starting my preparations early and am planning on including plenty of hearty and warming soups on the menu here at Mad Mammy towers in the coming months.  I made a start yesterday and made a big pot of chicken and vegetable soup.  It was generally met with approval but then the questions and comments started...

The Dude: "Did you put cucumber in this soup?"
Me: "No. Why are you asking about cucumber?"
The Dude: "Well there's little green things in here that I can't quite identify and I know they're not peas so they must be little bits of cucumber."
La-la: "That's celery."
The Dude: "But I don't like celery and I like this stuff so it can't be celery."
La-la: "It's celery I tells ya! I love carrots but I don't like these carrots!"
Me: "It's celery. What's wrong with the carrots?"
The Dude: "Hmmm... Maybe I do like celery."
La-la: "I dunno these carrots are not quite carroty carrots...if you know what I mean."

It went on like that for quite a while and no, I hadn't a clue what she meant about the carrots not quite being "carroty carrots" but I  made a mental note there and then that from here on in soup shall not have identifiable bits in it. On the outside chance my soup ends up in a line-up nobody will be able to point the finger and say, "the one with the carrots in it did it!" From this day forth my soupy creations will just be soup!

Photo of three bowls of healthy looking soup
Yummy Looking Soup With No Idenitfiable Bits!


So this morning I went straight on to amazon (I have to say I'm loving the whole 24 hour delivery thing with my Prime membership πŸ˜ƒ) and started researching blenders.

The hand held two speed blender from Kitchenaid had particularly good reviews and seemed to be just what I was looking for so I decided to have a closer look at the reviews and I found the following exchange in the questions and answers section:

Question: "Can this be used to crush nuts?"
Answer: "I'm pretty sure it can - but so could a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup. Go well my friends and remember to handle your nuts with care."

Ha ha ha! I have to say this came as a breath of fresh air after so many of the other more serious reviews. And to be honest, it also made me think of the many uses of a can of Campbell's Mushroom soup that I haven't considered yet... I mean, when you actually start thinking about it, the possibilities are endless! Nut crusher, doorstop, hammer, arm toners, murder weapon... I think I should throw a few cans of Campbell's soup in with the order for the blender!

Oh that reminds me - I've gotta go and finish the order! Go well my friends and in the words of our amazon friend - "remember to handle your nuts with care!" πŸ˜€

Saturday, 7 October 2017

Slime Time!

Here it is! The inaugural Mad Mammy video!

My kids (and it would seem nearly everybody else's) are obsessed with slime and have watched an inordinate amount of youtube videos on how to make the icky stuff.  And of course they have pestered me to make it at home - telling me that this youtuber makes it this way and that youtuber makes it that way!

Now, over the years I have tried to make various things from watching experts rustle them up in a video on youtube and I have failed spectacularly.  Most notably were my efforts at origami, a paper jetplane and Japanese Duridangu balls - the latter went way past epic fail!

And my experiences have taught me one thing - not all that glistens on youtube is real... I've noticed slick edits on certain videos where I suspect the perfect end product was inserted after a number of attempts to produce it.  Call me cynical but nobody gets it right all of the time and especially not when the cameras are rolling!  And then there's the glammy mammys who seem to be able to whip up all manner of things - chocolate brownies, slime and rainbow coloured cupcakes without so much as a drop of "stain forever" food colouring on their clothes or flour in their hair or shaving foam all over their perfectly presented kitchens.

It doesn't matter how many times I tell my kids that what they are seeing in all of these videos takes a lot of work and effort to get right and a number of goes in front of the camera - they think it all just happens. This means they, along with every other kid on the planet, think they can just record various aspects of their lives, stick the clips up on youtube, and become a "youtuber" and make shit-loads of money and never have to work a day in their lives!

So I set out to prove them wrong!And just as with my other youtube related adventures I failed spectacularly! It actually worked! Here's the video πŸ˜€


Friday, 26 May 2017

Jesus The Superhero!

The discussion regarding various educational options goes on here in Canada and I happened to mention one of the schools I was considering was a Catholic school. The ensuing carversation went like this:

La-la: "Hold up a minute there Mother - did you say, Catholic school?"

Me: "Why yes, Daughter, I did!"

La-la: "Nope, nope just nope! I know that gang - they'll have us praying all day!"

photo of young dark-haired girl praying
La-la Sees Herself Like This - All day!
Me: "Well you might have to learn a few prayers but that's hardly going to do you any harm is it?"

La-la: "Huh! That's what you think!"

She was about to say something else when the Dude jumped in - very excited!

The Dude: "Oh! Oh! Wait a minute! The Catholics! Aren't they the ones with Jesus! Oh my God! That guy's so cool! Isn't he the one with the superpowers?"

Nobody got a chance to answer as he immediately answered his own question without pausing for breath.

The Dude: "Yes! Yes! He is! He can fly and everything! And he died and came back to life again! That guys so coooooool!"

Cartoon like image of Jesus As A Superhero
I'm Thinking This Is How The Dude Sees Jesus!
And there you have it folks - I suppose you'd call that the power of Jesus - the ultimate superhero - at least according to the Dude. πŸ˜€

Friday, 19 May 2017

Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder just by saying something are you actually sending a big fat challenge out to the Universe or God or who / whatever runs this whole show??? You know the old adage - humans make plans and God laughs. Well, I'm thinking there's something else at work when certain humans (like me!) make a big statement or dare to express happiness - it seems to convert into a sort of inter-galactic alert and some celestial committee decides these particular humans seem to be far too content with their lot - and it's time to screw with them!

Free stock photo of nature, man, person, night
The Universe, God, Whatever! There Seems To Be Something
Out There!

Honestly, it has been a delight to see the Dude so happy in his new school here in Canada. School and the Dude are not a natural fit and it has been a battle to get him to go ever since he started way back in Kindergarten.

max day 1 at kindergarten db - Click to view full size photo
Kindergarten Dude - Looking Decidedly Unsure!

I was fully expecting a complete nightmare sending him to a new school in a new country and at the worst possible time of year - final term. However, he has taken to the Canadian education system like a duck to water! And the day before yesterday I happily shared my delight at this fact with anyone who would listen! It would seem this was a mistake - I should have said nothing!

Yesterday came and it was a disaster! In his efforts to make friends at his new school he has played with both boys and girls and in the past few days has had great fun playing with two girls. So yesterday he was teased by some other girls and boys for playing with just these two girls.

It was probably harmless teasing along the lines of, "you've got a crush...blah, blah, blah" but the Dude takes all these things very much to heart and now he doesn't want to go to school! And when my stubborn, single-minded boy doesn't want to do something then he REALLY doesn't want to do it!

In the past twenty-four hours we have run the gamut of emotions from anger, to sadness, to tears, and only a mixture of threats and bribes got him out the door this morning.

I hope he has a better day today, maybe even a good one but I'll tell you something right now - you won't hear it from me if he does!

Free stock photo of woman, girl, cross, awareness
From Now On  - This Be Me!

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

A Moment Of Mad Mammy Madness

The Mad Mammy has finally made the move to Canada! Hence the reason for radio silence in recent months as I've been a bit busy...  Wrapping up one life and starting another isn't easy and thanks to a lot of incomplete information on the internet this move has been particularly complicated and a lot more work than I had anticipated!  However, I am finally at the point where I am looking at prospective properties to live in. So myself and the kiddies rocked up to a beautiful old property yesterday in a very nice part of town.

The Canadian Flag made out of maple leaves

The property I looked at wouldn't normally be on my list as it's old - as in it's only ever been lived in by the people who built it - over seventy years ago! But it's in a great school catchment and my instinct tells me that its slightly shabby appearance means the owner just might allow dogs and there's two kids in this house who've been waiting a long time for puppies...

We be getting one of these...

And one of these!
During my eagle-eyed inspection I spotted a window that didn't look like it closed properly. A closer look confirmed that the wood was a little warped and indeed there might be an issue. Now a normal person would have left it at that but of course since when was, Your's Truly, ever deemed normal???
I tugged it towards me to see if it just needed a helping hand to close but it didn't budge. Undeterred, I pushed it a little and again it didn't budge. Again, a normal person would have left it at that but for some reason best known to the inner workings of my Mad Mammy mind I was suddenly obsessed with getting this window closed!

abandoned, broken, colors
The Window Looked Something Like This!
So I decided to give it a good shove so that I could then put some effort into pulling it towards me and getting the damned stubborn thing to close! Without further ado I put my considerable weight behind my hand and pushed that baby hard! And it moved! Actually everything moved!!! Everything as in the outside frame for the ancient double glazing - inclusive of glass! The whole feckin lot shattered to the ground!

I was mortified! La-la and the Dude were outside playing in the garden and heard the crash. They came running into the house and found me standing by the window with my eyes wide and my mouth stuck in an "O" position.

"Oh no!" The Dude declared, "what have you done now?"

(Note: I'm pretty sure it's my job to say that line!)

He didn't wait for my reply and turned and dashed down the stairs and out the front door.

La-la patted me on the shoulder and invited me to confess.

"What have you done now Mummy?" she enquired with puppy dog eyes.

Her answer came from below the window.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't believe it! Oh my God! Oh Mum! Oh wait till you see what you've done now Mum! Oh my God! Oh the embarrassment!" - The Dude was on a roll and incapable, it would seem, of shutting up.

I immediately abandoned my half-plan of saying nothing... The whole neighbourhood knew my crime by now.

Understanding blossomed over La-la's features.

"Oh Mum," she said, "did you break the window?"

I nodded.

She shook her head, put her face in her hands and then patted me again with the words, "oh Mum."

The estate agent appeared behind her and enquired if everything was okay. I fessed up and La-la ran off to join her brother to inspect the damage. The estate agent was remarkably cool about the whole thing and completely brushed it off! 

I'm standing there thinking the whole thing reminded me of a scene from one of the Omen movies and if it's a sign that I should run from the house now and never return! Only problem was, two minutes later the estate agent informed the kids that having a dog at the property wouldn't be a problem. La-la promptly fell at the woman's knees and started to worship her (I kid you not!) and the Dude proceeded to run around the garden, like the crazy coot he is, shouting, "whoop! Whoop! Puppies! Yeah! Whoop!"

Last night I dreamed of a giant Newfoundlander puppy jumping through a window and practically licking me to death in my bed! I think my fate has been sealed.