|A Tourist - Not Very "Tacky"|
I was happily (and carefully!) "guiding" him along and almost had him at the door when La-la emerged from her bedroom resplendent as a "tacky tourist" - right down to a pair of binoculars hanging from her neck! Before I could stop her, she looked the Dude up and down and said, "is THAT your tacky tourist outfit?" Aaaaaagh! The Dude looked at me, "oh my God, it's tacky tourist day mummy!" he announced in a very accusatory tone of voice - as if a suspicion was starting to form in his mind as to why I had been "herding" him like a very attentive sheepdog all morning.
|I Be Like...|
|The Dude Be like...|
I sighed. It was 9 am. He was supposed to be sitting at his desk at 9:10 am. We did NOT have time to figure out a tacky tourist outfit for him. So, I went full on Irish Mammy - "if you wanted to have a tacky tourist outfit then you should have thought about it last night blah, blah, blah... I warned you blah, blah, blah..." He narrowed his eyes. I could see him calculating - how do I get her to shut up? Then he spoke - in a voice I didn't know he had! 🤨 "All I need is a hat." - They were his words but his tone was - "so stop losing your shit, crazy lady." I looked at him, somewhat nonplussed, "ok go find a hat," I told him. He found the rattiest old baseball cap he could and stuck it on his head and, even though he looked like a fisherman, I told him he looked like the tackiest tourist on the planet and shoved him out the door! I find the more I do this mammying thing, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do! Even if that means telling a big fat lie for the sake of everyone's mental health!