Thursday, 19 April 2018

Pass The Salami And Welcome To Buzzmania!

It's been a while since I had a Dudeversation but I was putting the Dude to bed last night and below is the classic that followed!

The Dude: "Mum what's beef salami?"
Me: "It's salami, just it's made from beef rather than pork."
The Dude: "Oh, ok, I'm just confused..."
Me: "Why, what's confusing about that?"
The Dude: "Well, why would it be funny?"
Me: "I'm not sure. It's not really funny. Who says it's funny?"
The Dude: "Well, one of the boys in my class said to the teacher, 'hey Miss, do you want a bit of my beef salami?' and he thought it was the funniest thing ever and was laughing."
Me: (Thinking this is either very strange or very inappropriate behaviour for a ten year old boy.) "What did the teacher say?"
The Dude: "She said no thank you but she looked a bit confused too."
Me: "Oh, I see..." (I was actually seeing nothing!)
The Dude: "Is it funny cuz it's beef salami and not pork? And why would you have beef salami anyway?"

board, bread, camping knife
Pass The Salami - But Is It Beef Or Is It Pork?
Me: "Er, pork or beef, it's not funny, at least not in my world. Sometimes you have beef salami because some people don't eat pork."
The Dude: "Oh yeah, like if you're a different religion, like a Muslim."
Me: "Yes, that's correct, like some of our friends."
The Dude: Silent for a few seconds, then in a voice that told me he had suddenly figured this whole thing out he announced - "Oh yeah! I think the boy who said it is from Buzzmania."
Me: "Eh?"
The Dude: "Buzzmania, I'm pretty sure the boy is from Buzzmania like our friends."
Me: "Buzzmania?"
The Dude: "Yeah - where Z & I (friends names) are from, Buzzmania.
Me: (The penny dropped!) "Oh! Do you mean Bosnia?!"
The Dude: "Yeah! Buzzmania!"

And there you have it folks - there's a new country on planet earth - Buzzmania!

Thursday, 29 March 2018

Smiles All Around - Courtesy Of The Dude

Back in November 2017 we instigated a pocket money / rewards program here at Mad Mammy Towers - which even saw one individual planning on making his fortune by getting paid for doing his sister's jobs! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Over the past few months La-la has spent a considerable amount of her earnings but the Dude hasn't spent a cent! When he has pointed something out in a shop and asked for it, I've told him he can get whatever it was out of his own pocket money. This has always resulted in the same reaction - suddenly he doesn't want the thing so much any more!

Then, at the weekend he asked Big Daddy to take him to a local art store. Big Daddy was a little confused because the Dude doesn't do arty stuff. He asked him if he meant a sport's store but the Dude was adamant he wanted to go to the art store.

Once there he went searching for a specific item and only the best would do. He then bought it - out of his own money! - and brought it home. What was this item, I hear you ask, that he wanted so much he was prepared to spend his precious money on???

Turns out he wanted to spend his money on a smile - his sister's smile. After all those months of not spending a single cent on himself, he went and spent his money on an art set for his sister!



Image result for art set





"I just wanted to make her happy and see her smile," he explained to his flabbergasted father and me.

The Dude - a never ending source of parental fascination and maybe just a little bit of pride. ๐Ÿ˜Š




Friday, 9 March 2018

Tacky Tourist Day And Doing What You Gotta Do!

It was dress up as "a tacky tourist" day at school today and to be honest - I had no idea what that meant! So, I was thrilled when it was obvious the Dude had forgotten all about it this morning.



analog camera, camera, casual
A Tourist - Not Very "Tacky"


I was happily (and carefully!) "guiding" him along and almost had him at the door when La-la emerged from her bedroom resplendent as a "tacky tourist" - right down to a pair of binoculars hanging from her neck! Before I could stop her, she looked the Dude up and down and said, "is THAT your tacky tourist outfit?" Aaaaaagh! The Dude looked at me, "oh my God, it's tacky tourist day mummy!" he announced in a very accusatory tone of voice - as if a suspicion was starting to form in his mind as to why I had been "herding" him like a very attentive sheepdog all morning.

Black White Long Coated Dog Dashing Trough Body of Water
I Be Like...


The Dude Be like...

I sighed. It was 9 am. He was supposed to be sitting at his desk at 9:10 am. We did NOT have time to figure out a tacky tourist outfit for him. So, I went full on Irish Mammy - "if you wanted to have a tacky tourist outfit then you should have thought about it last night blah, blah, blah... I warned you blah, blah, blah..." He narrowed his eyes. I could see him calculating - how do I get her to shut up? Then he spoke - in a voice I didn't know he had! ๐Ÿคจ "All I need is a hat." - They were his words but his tone was - "so stop losing your shit, crazy lady." I looked at him, somewhat nonplussed, "ok go find a hat," I told him. He found the rattiest old baseball cap he could and stuck it on his head and, even though he looked like a fisherman, I told him he looked like the tackiest tourist on the planet and shoved him out the door! I find the more I do this mammying thing, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do! Even if that means telling a big fat lie for the sake of everyone's mental health!